We Accept The Love We Think We Deserve
by openmymindcomeinside
Summary: Note: Renamed from my tumblr story "What Do You Want, Blaine" Summary: Because Blaine give his everything and gets only some back. I just want someone to give Blaine everything he deserves and more and I want that person to be Sebastian. They're just friends here though with a promise for something more. I don't know much about NYC so sorry.


_**A/N Renamed. On my tumblr this is "What Do You Want, Blaine" Decided to share this here as well. There will be another post later, of the update variety. Don't own anything but my head canon. **_

_Because Blaine give his everything and gets only some back. I just want someone to give Blaine everything he deserves and more and I want that person to be Sebastian. They're just friends here though with a promise for something more. I don't know much about NYC so sorry._

* * *

"I'm just going to step outside guys. I just…I need a minute kay?" Blaine mumbled as he put his beer down and gestured towards the balcony.

"Um, yeah man that's cool. We'll be here." Seb said frowning as he watched his roommate push the balcony door open and slide out into the cold.

He turned his head awkwardly glancing at the other men in the room: Nick, Jeff, Wes, David and Hunter all directing concerned glances towards the open balcony door.

"I'm really worried about him." Nick spoke quietly, turning up the volume slightly for fear that Blaine might hear them.

"Me too man. It's been a year since…you know, I just don't get it." Jeff shook his head, leaning back into the couch and placing his foot on the wooden coffee table as he took a swig of his beer. Seb smacked Jeff's feet off of his coffee table with a glare, causing the other man to raise his hands up in surrender and lift his feet off the table and onto the floor.

Wes shrugged, "He was in love guys, they got married young and promised each other forever.

David nodded, swallowing his sip of beer. "Not to mention how ugly it ended after only two years. You saw them when they first got together, no one expected it to happen like that."

The other men hummed in agreement, but Seb, rolled his eyes, turning his gaze back towards the balcony. He'd always known Blaine and Kurt weren't good for each other and yet he was forced to watch silently from the side as the relationship exploded then crumpled leaving a saturnine effigy of the bright beautiful man Blaine used to be.

"If you ask me he's better off." Hunter grunted, setting his empty bottle down on the table and grabbing the bowl of pretzels.

Aghast, Jeff shoved Hunter's shoulder. "Dude!"

"What?" Hunter asked around a mouthful of pretzels.

"Not for you to be incredibly insensitive." David squinted a judging glare at Hunter.

"It's not insensitive if it's true" Hunter defended with a shrug.

Wes scoffed. "You didn't know them when they first got together. They were perfect for each other. They probably saved each other."

"Really?" Hunter countered derisively, "Because from where I'm sitting, it looks like that relationship destroyed him."

Seb rolled his eyes towards the ceiling and shook his head minutely before setting his own beer down, getting up and walking towards the balcony door. He was pretty much done hearing their friends talk about Blaine like he wasn't standing right out side of the open balcony door probably listening in on them talk about something none of them could possibly understand regardless of who was there or not.

He wasn't sure when he developed such a need to protect Blaine. It might have been the night he opened the door to find Blaine on his knees, a complete and sobbing mess the night he and Kurt called off their marriage, or maybe it was sometime during the months that followed—looking at his friend everyday and searching for the brilliant man he used to know but never finding him. Either way he hated the way their friends talked and acted as if Blaine was some sad and damaged object they used to play with that they were sad to see go.

The conversation stopped on his behalf and he could feel the stares of the other men on his back but he ignored them. He distantly heard Hunter mutter something that suspiciously sounded like "go get'im" but he ignored that too.

When he peeked his head out through the open doorway it was in time to see Blaine wipe at his eyes furiously and swallow thickly as he heaved breaths of frustration.

"Blaine?" the mentioned man jumped and turned where his back leaned against the wall so that his back was turned towards Seb.

"Hey no-" Seb stepped out fully onto the balcony and shut the door behind him. He walked over to the smaller man and placed a gentle hand on his shoulder, turning him so they were face to face.

Blained sighed in defeat and locked puffy,watery, honey-storm eyes on Seb's green ones. He sunk in on himself with his arms wrapped around his body protectively. They said nothing—Blaine against the wall and Seb leaned up against the railing—just staring at each other; their breaths fogging up the air between them

Blaine broke the silence first. "Today is—would have been our three year anniversary." His voice was rough and scratchy when he spoke, but the thing that really made Seb's heart constrict was how lifeless and monotone it was.

"Blaine…"

"I gave him my, my everything" Blaine dug his hands into his own chest; his body curling with the motion. "I gave him my all. I would have done anything to make sure he was happy and-and that he didn't have to want for anything and I just—" he shook his head, his eyes searching and welling up with tears, "I don't understand where I went wrong—why it wasn't enough. What more should I have done. I loved him with everything that I was." Blaine's voice had a whining, defeated quality to it that cut right through Seb.

Seb pulled the other man into his arms and held him tight. He was just getting used to consoling people, not having had much practice with it considering he never really cared enough about someone to want to make them feel better about something. What he did know was that Blaine needed contact. He needed warmth and the security of someone just holding him so that's what Seb did. He held the broken man in his arms and he searched for the right thing to say.

"Maybe I don't know what I'm talking about, but B, if you gave the man everything you had, to give him anymore you'd have been giving him your life. It doesn't sound healthy, you know?"

Blaine didn't reply. He just slumped against Seb's chest and nodded weakly.

"And, what about you? How much of himself did he give you?"

Blaine pushed off of Seb and frowned. "That's not—that doesn't matter. I didn't want him to have to give me anything. It made me happy to see him happy. It didn't matter what I was getting. All I needed was for him to love me." Blaine's voice broke off at the end as he held back a sob.

Seb shook his head. None of that made sense to him. How could he even think like that. How could he think that his own happiness didn't matter at all?

"Blaine, I don't have the best track record with relationships and I know I'm guilty of this too because there are plenty of blow jobs I didn't return but my point is you were giving everything and he wasn't. You weren't getting much back in return, you completely exhausted yourself and for what?"

Seb watched as anger ignited Blaine's hazel eyes. This wasn't what he wanted to come of this but Blaine needed to see that he deserved everything he was giving and he just didn't and Seb didn't get it.

"You can't compare my _marriage _to your sexual escapades Seb. What Kurt and I had was more than that." he spat, his brows creasing deeply.

"Was it? I mean clearly it was more then just sex and physicality but you're missing the point I'm trying to make Blaine. Even I know relationships are about trust and putting in everything that your getting. You can't put in more than you get and you can't put in less than you receive it's not fair. You deserve better."

Blaine scoffed and shook his head. "I wasn't without faults, Seb."

"Okay, but you can't vilify yourself for everything that went wrong between the two of you, it's perverse."

Seb was going to pull his hair out. This wasn't Blaine. Blaine was stronger than this., and yet here he was standing in the cold trying to get Blaine to see that he was worthy of everything he gave to Kurt and more and the other man was fighting him on it.

"You don't understand anything." Blaine murmured as he pulled his sleeve and wipe his nose with it.

"Then help me understand B."

Blaine growled and fixed Seb with an irate expression "No Seb!" He shook his head, "I'm tired okay. I feel like shit and I don't feel like helping you understand anything. I just—I want to be left alone. I just—I'm tired okay." He ended with a soft pleading voice as he stared down at his socked feet. He didn't look like the 24 year old man he was anymore. He looked so vulnerable, so young—too young to be broken down like this—torn to pieces by a failed marriage.

"Blaine.." Seb reached out to touch Blaine but the other man shook him off.

"I'm just going to go to bed." he rubbed the nape of his neck with his hand and wrapped the other around his body. "Night Seb."

Sebastian watched as his friend dragged his feet, slumped and defeated, back into the apartment with a frown and an ignited flaming determination to help Blaine get through this. He was going to help Blaine see he could be happy again—that he _deserved_ to be happy again.

* * *

Seb knocked gently on Blaine's bedroom door and waited until he heard Blaine's muffled voice invite him in. He poked his head inside, his eyes wandering to where Blaine's head poked out of his duvet, his curls wild and adorable.

"You can come in" Blaine mumbled from his warm cocoon.

Seb pushed the door open and moved further into the room. He walked over and placed the mug of fresh coffee he was holding onto Blaine's bedside table. He then, sat gingerly on the edge of the bed next to Blaine.

"Peace offering" he stated pointing at the steaming cup of hazelnut creamed coffee.

Blaine pulled the covers further off of his head and turned and looked in the direction Seb pointed. A soft smile crossed his features as he sat up, grabbed the mug, and brought it close to his nose, inhaling deeply.

"Thanks," he murmured, blowing on the coffee in attempt to cool it for his first sip. "You didn't have to do this. I know you were trying to help."

Seb shook his head and smiled. "I wanted to, though."

"Okay." Blaine said. He took his first sip and scrunched up his face—of course he burned his tongue despite all the blowing. He truly was adorable.

"Are you busy today?" Seb asked as he settled more onto the bed with one leg bent on the mattress and the other swinging over the edge.

"Not really, no." Blaine answered slowly, looking up at Seb with curious eyes.

_Perfect_. Seb thought. He had a plan. "Want to hang out with me today?"

"Uhh, yeah sure." Blaine took a daring gulp of his drink but his inquisitive gaze didn't waver.

"Cool, What do you want to do?"

Seb waited, because he knew it was coming.

"We can do whatever you want to do."

Just as expected.

"Nope."

Blaine halted from taking another sip and raised one eyebrow. "No?"

Seb shook his head with a smile. "No"

"Okay, umm I don't…"

"Look, I don't know why you're so comfortable throwing your own happiness aside for the sake of someone else's. I certainly don't understand why you can settle with someone not going above and beyond to show that they appreciate you, but I'm here to put an end to it. Today anything you want, I'll make it happen. Doesn't matter what it is as long as it's something you want—within reason of course." Seb stated with a sharp matter-of-fact nod.

"Seb-"

"I'm not taking no for answer. I refuse to watch you walk around here like your the scum on the bottom of life's shoes with no way of moving forward—like you can't find your self-worth. Today is about your happiness. Anything you want to do we'll do it. This is your day to be free and relaxed and have fun. You need to understand that this is a great deal of power I'm giving you, Killer. Many men would beat down the door to have this opportunity so take advantage of it."

"But you don't have to do that."

"Yes I do and I will. We can sit here all day with me staring at you until you tell me something you want to do. It will get very weird."

Blaine snorted but nodded. "Okay."

"Good. We'll start with breakfast. What do you want?"

"Can I have a spinach and cheese omelette with bacon and a biscuit with jelly on it?"

"Is that what you want?"

Blaine nodded.

"Then it's done." Seb got up and made his way out the bedroom but stopped and looked back at Blaine with a smirk. "Way to milk it, Anderson."

* * *

"We're deleting that one."

"No we're not. It's adorable. You're so scared."

"I was not scared. I just didn't want it to touch me."

"It? Seb, he's a baby. And look at your eyes. Look at them. They're huge. You were scared."

"His hands were dirty!" Seb protested reaching for the camera, but Blaine used small stature and agility to his favor and moved out of reach faster than Seb could grab the camera.

"Delete it B, I mean it."

Blaine looked down at the picture on his camera and pouted. "I really like it though."

Seb rolled his eyes and let out a melodramatic sigh. "You really want to keep it don't you." Seb asked, taking in the fondness in Blaine's expression.

"Yeah," Blaine nodded, "I love pictures like this and I don't want to delete any pictures from today. Today has been perfect I want to remember every moment of it."

Seb sighed and shoved Blaine to the side playfully. "Fine you can keep it. Just don't post it on Facebook or anything."

Blaine was smiling again. Throughout the day, every so often, a little glimmer of the light Blaine used to harbor danced in his eyes and brought back that smile Seb missed seeing on his friend's face. How much he missed it, was something he hadn't even realized, but he was surprised to find that every time Blaine smiled that gorgeous smile his stomach flipped and he was overcome with a even stronger need to make it happen again.

Blaine had decided he wanted to see New York City the way he had when he first fell in love with it. So, they spent the day like tourists. They took ridiculous pictures and bought cheesy "I love NY" shirts that they wore over the t-shirts they were already wearing that day. They went to Madam Tussaud's and took as many inappropriate pictures with the wax celebrities as they could without getting kicked out. They even danced along with a drumming street performer. Seb got to spend the day watching Blaine let loose and finally_ breath_ for the first time in a long time and it was something to be marveled at if you asked him.

He made sure to open every door for Blaine and pay for all the food they ate. He was everything he thought a man should be for Blaine because he wanted Blaine to see that, that was what he deserved.

Blaine never really demanded anything—it wasn't in his nature—but they only did things he suggested, and as the day wore on the more ridiculous his requests became. Seb realized he was seeing how far he could push him and he clearly thought Seb was going to give in when he asked for tickets to the 10:30pm showing of "Naked Boys Singing." Seb bought the tickets.

It was later in the day and much darker now as they wandered aimlessly through the city and found themselves walking through a park where Blaine was going through their pictures. Every now and then he'd stop on one and laugh or grin brightly.

"What do you want to do now?" Seb asked as they sat on a nearby bench to rest his aching feet. Blaine sat next to him and shrugged as he rested his head on his Seb's shoulder.

Content, Blaine replied, "I don't know, sit here with you."

He stared down at the picture he took while they were at Starbucks. It was of Seb trying with all his might to avoid the slobbery touch of the baby being held by the woman in front of them. He couldn't stop smiling, at it, with his teeth, his eyes and his heart, and Seb decided he was glad Blaine didn't delete the picture; it was brilliant if it made Blaine smile _like that_.

They sat for along time, enjoying the silence between them. Neither felt the need to fill it with mindless chatter, they just enjoyed each others company and the memories of the day.

Suddenly, Blaine got up and walked over to the fountain in front of them. Seb watched curiously before following and standing next to him. He stared at Blaine as he stared at the fountain and admired the way the light from the fountain adorned his features.

When his daze was broken by Blaine's movements, his eyes widened as he watched his friend take off his shoes and socks and his jacket. Then Blaine stepped into the fountain and stopped under the water fall, letting the water soak him completely.

"B what are you doing?"

Blaine stepped out from under the water fall and held an open palm out to him. "Come in. I want you to come in with me"

Seb opened his mouth to argue but found he didn't have anything to say. Blaine had long since dropped his hand and begun to sway freely under the water fall, spinning and laughing as the water ran over his face and down his body. His curls were breaking loose from the gel being washed out of his hair and his clothes were sticking to his body like a glove. He looked free of guilt and burden and happy for the first time in a long time. Seb had to wonder how anyone couldn't find it within him to make it their mission to put that smile on Blaine's face. It was a result of his own happiness, not derived from pleasing anyone but from someone investing in his joy for once and it was _beautiful_.

Seb decided: What the heck?

He slid out of his shoes and socks and jumped under the water too only to freeze up immediately. The water was ice cold and it was sliding down his entire body. It was in his hair and under his clothes and it was awful. Blaine threw water at him, laughing as he pulled Seb out of his shock. Seb's jaw dropped in mock offence and he cupped his hand under the water and threw water back at Blaine. The two chased each other around the fountain, laughing and playing like children, until Seb caught Blaine around the waist and spun him around.

"Is this what you wanted. We're wet and gross now. Are you happy?"

Blaine nodded and laughed. His teeth began to chatter and his body shivered as his body registered just how cold it was under all this damn water.

"It is."

"What else do you want?"

Blaine hummed and looked up as if the answer would be written in the stars.

"I want to sing in front of millions of people and touch them with my music."

"Done"

Blaine snorted, "That's not actually something you can make happen for me Seb."

"Yes it is. I can pay a million people to stand outside the bathroom door while you sing in the shower." Seb insisted.

"The apartment has a capacity to the amount of people it can hold."

"Well then V.I.P can stand in the apartment and the rest can stand outside and watch you on a large monitor I'll have installed."

"And where exactly will you get the money for that? Our savings combined couldn't cover that."

Seb shrugged, "I'll rob a bank."

"You're an idiot." Blaine said as he rolled his eyes.

"Fine then I'll just post it on youtube." Seb countered immediately his lips twitching into a smug smirk.

"Oh my god" Blaine dropped his head on Seb's chest and wrapped his arms around Seb's middle.

"What else do you want, B?"

"I want a family." Blaine breathed quietly, refusing to meet Seb's eyes.

"Done."

"Seriously?" Blaine looked up at Seb incredulously, his eyebrow practically becoming one with his hairline.

"I'm not going to say I set up an account for you on a dating site. I'm just going to say you may have some interested people who are cheesy and extremely gay like you, also looking for a family. You can thank me later." This made Blaine laugh.

"You've got one more wish. What do you want, Blaine?"

Blaine kept his head down, murmuring into Seb's chest, "To always feel like you made me feel today."

"And how's that?" Seb inquired, chewing on his bottom lip.

"Happy." Blaine said softly as he looked up at him. His golden, honey eyes shined with emotion and he smiled shyly as he spoke just above a whisper, "Like, I'm worthy of it, finally. Like it's okay. Like I'm going to be okay."

Sebastian leaned his head down so that their foreheads where pressed together and tightened his hold on the amazing humble man in his arms.

"Done."


End file.
